Weddings are a great time to celebrate your love and throw an unforgettable party for all your closest family and friends. However, there are generally rules that should be followed, both from the hosts and their guests. In our list of wedding faux pas, we’ll cover everything from both a guest and a host perspective, so let’s get cracking!
Guest Don'ts
Starting off, let’s run through some of the major wedding guest faux pas.
Wear White
Ok, this is probably too easy, but we have to start off with the classic. Only the bride gets to wear a white dress to the wedding, unless specifically stated otherwise (this, of course, does not typically apply white dress shirts worn with a suit). If your dress has a little bit of white, or white patches, it might be ok, but we say, why risk it? If you have to ask, it’s a wedding faux pas!
RSVP Late
This faux pas is a hosting headache. Venues have capacity limits, and vendors need to know how many people to prepare for, so when a guest RSVPs late, it adds an unwelcome chore to the hosts and wedding planner. Send in those RSVPs on time!
Bring Uninvited Guests
This is, perhaps, the leveled up version of RSVPing late. Wedding invites specify who is invited, and whether or not a plus one is invited. If you don’t get a plus one, don’t bring one. If you have any doubt as to whether or not you can bring a guest, consult with the wedding party. No one wants to be forced to choose between kicking you out and scrambling to find a chair at the last minute!
Bring Kids (if they aren’t invited)
In a similar vein, if you’re invited to a wedding where kids aren’t invited, don’t bring kids. While inviting children to weddings can be a sensitive topic, it’s still ultimately up to the couple. If you have kids and can’t arrange for someone to watch them while you attend, then be prepared to RSVP no. On the flip side, the wedding couple should be understanding—one can’t have a no-child wedding and then be surprised when parents can’t make it.
Gift Off-Registry (or not at all)
Gifts can be a complicated aspect of weddings. Now that couples increasingly live together before marriage, traditional registries might be supplanted by house or honeymoon funds. All the more reason for you as a guest to follow the script when gifting. If the specific request is for a contribution to a house fund, and you show up with an espresso machine, it’s a faux pas!
More financially stable couples may specify no gifts, or a donation to a specific cause in lieu of a gift. These wishes should be respected, but even in the case of no-gift weddings, you should still bring a card expressing your best wishes for the couple’s happiness. Don’t show up completely empty-handed.
Ask Too Many Questions
Friends, this is why the wedding website or the details card exists. There’s nothing more frustrating as a couple than endless questions that have already been answered in the invitation or a website. What should I wear? Where does the shuttle bus leave from? If you have a question, do the couple a favor by doing a little bit of digging before reaching out.
Change Your Mind
This is perhaps less tangible, but hear us out. The best thing you can do as a guest is to be predictable. Fill out your meal preference, RSVP, show up on time, have fun. Unless it’s really life or death, don’t change things up—don’t try to change your lodgings, meals, or any sort of thing where you’ve been accounted for. Do your part and show up!
Ignore the Dress Code
Dress codes are there for a reason, and it’s to stay in keeping with the couple’s vision for their important day. Going off-script here is a faux pas, and it’ll only leave you feeling silly—no one wants to be the only one wearing jeans in a crowd of tuxes. Worse, you don’t want to risk outdressing the couple. Feel free to consult the wedding website, or our blog on the matter.
Be Rude to Vendors and Staff
We really hope this one isn’t necessary to include. Just because someone’s job is to bring around trays of hors d’oeuvres doesn’t mean they don’t deserve your respect and patience. Similarly, musicians and DJs don’t necessarily need to take your requests. If you’re standing out in any way, you’re probably committing a faux pas of some sort.
Hog the Photographer
Every wedding should hire a photographer (yes, even if you have disposable cameras as party favors). It’s always fun when you can come away from the wedding with a couple of nice photos, but keep in mind that the photographer is ultimately there for the couple. They’re looking for the best moments of the ceremony, so don’t try to get their attention and distract them.
Host Dont’s
With that in mind, it’s also a good time to check in on some of the more common wedding host faux pas that frustrate guests. Having a dream wedding is a two-way street, after all!
Solicit Contributions
Generally, weddings should be paid by the families (traditionally, the family of the bride) of the couple getting married. While guests should bring a gift if asked (see above), they shouldn’t under any circumstances be asked to cover the cost of the wedding itself.
Host a Destination Wedding (and expect attendance)
While destination weddings are booming, they should be understood as special trips that guests can not necessarily make. Of course, you want all your most important people at your wedding, no matter where it is. But if that wedding is in Bali, you have to have a bit more flexibility and be prepared for some no-shows. It’s a faux pas if anyone is feeling pressured to journey around the world.
Ignore Dietary Restrictions
If you’re inviting people to a wedding, you’re also signing up to feed people. These days, preparing for dietary restrictions is a basic part of that. Having a vegetarian option should be a bare minimum, and you (or your caterer) should ideally be prepared to work with guests on other dietary restrictions as well.
Leave Guests in the Dark
Just like guests should ideally be as predictable as possible, so should your party! Do your part and do your best to anticipate any issues or tricky directions that might be needed. We’ve all been to weddings that have skimped on the planning a bit, and it can be stressful, so don’t put your guests through it.
Turn a Dress Code into a Stress Code
Your dress code is your vision for the event, but it’s ultimately a guide so your guests will know how to fit in. You can put your own spin on it, you should still have some sort of identifier so guests will know what to expect. Instead of just “rainbow,” make sure to say “rainbow cocktail,” or “rainbow casual.” Help your guests dress to impress!
Forget to Stock Your Dream Wedding
Once you’ve navigated the social waters of your wedding prep, it’s time to focus on the fun stuff. Custom party accessories like matches, cups, and more from For Your Party will add the perfect touch to the most important events in your life. Start building your dream wedding or party today!
